It took me a good whole month to muster up the courage to write on this theme: Death… this bitter, but absolute reality of life. I am sure you must be wondering. “What is this 27 year old kid going to say about it?” Agreed. I didn’t know much about it until recently and whatever I had heard about it, was only a piece of the actual story. While the profundity of this theme cannot be truly expressed in words, I shall try to capture my random thoughts in at least a partly coherent fashion.
- Acceptance: Remember the day you found out that santa claus or the tooth fairy didn’t exist and didn’t want to accept facts. It’s pretty similar except a few billion times harder. Your smart brain has understood the reality, but your heart has not yet caught up with it.
- Memories: Sometimes, it’s not about the person at all. It’s about all the memories you shared with them that makes acceptance much harder. We as humans are better at accepting lies that soothe the soul than plain facts that hurt. The idea that those memories shall never become moments again is what haunts the most.
- Emotions: Those tricky things called feelings! It’s always a whirlpool of emotions. On some days, memories make you shed a tear and sometimes, the same memories bring a smile to your face. A smile of gratitude that you got to share such special moments with them.
- Support: You take solace in the fact that you’re surrounded by so many loved ones, guised in the form of family and friends. But, deep down, you know it’s a battle that you are fighting alone. Your support system might present you the sword, but it must be you who decides to pick it up and act.
- Distractions: You try several different things to distract yourself from your own thoughts. While they help, it is but, in fact, momentarily. Isn’t the pain always sharper when trying to clean up wounds? Ouch! That tincture.The fake smile that you bandaid on your face, does nothing but cover up the wounds beneath. Yet, you know, that it is the right and the only thing you can do.
- Outlook: Nothing in life will ever teach you how to live more in the present than death. It’s a harsh teacher, but a good one. You begin to cherish each moment that you have with loved ones around and realize that at the end of the day, all those bitterness doesn’t even matter. You see each person in a new light; a way you should have always seen them.
While death is a culmination of one life, it is the beginning of a new life of the people around. We all emerge from this pain as a new person…. a better person!
(Inspired by personal experiences of losing my grandpa exactly a month back on 4 October 2016. He was and is still really special to me. I am sure he would be the first one to comment on this post, if he was still here on this physical plane with me.
Love you always! You inspire me to be a better person each day!)